Dating Again? Huh

I have been single so long that the next man who likes me might have to hand me a folded note like we used to pass back in the day.

“Do you like me? Check yes or no.”

And I might have to add another option: “Yes, but give me a minute. I’ve been single a long time.” 😂

Something reminded me today of a grocery-store trip a couple of years ago with my mom and son. We were getting groceries, and this nice man kept talking to me. It seemed like every aisle we went down, he showed up with a little more to say.

All thirty-two of his teeth were showing. He was smiling, telling me how he cooks, and sharing a little about himself. Meanwhile, I was thinking, “He is such a nice man.”

Apparently, I was the only one thinking that.

By the time we got to the car, my mom and son were laughing so hard. I asked, “What?”

My mom said, “That man was flirting with you, and you did not even notice.”

I said, “No, he wasn’t. He was just being nice.”

Then my son said, “Mom, he was definitely flirting with you.”

Now, wait a minute. Y’all saw all of this happening and waited until I got into the car to tell me? He could have been the man of my dreams, and I was busy trying to finish the grocery list!

Looking back, maybe he was trying to find out whether I was interested in having a man cook for me. Whatever his intentions were, my family noticed something I completely missed.

I had to learn something from that experience: I could be open to dating and still overlook someone trying to get my attention. Being single had become so familiar that the possibility of being pursued did not even cross my mind.

So now I joke that he is going to have to send me a note. Please let me know you want to talk, date, or pursue me. I am ready, but I think I forgot how this thing works! 😂

Maybe you understand exactly what I mean.

You Can Be Ready and Still Feel Out of Touch

When you have been single for a long time, dating can feel unfamiliar. You may want companionship, enjoy the thought of spending time with someone, and still miss a hint when it comes your way.

A smile registers as good manners. A conversation feels like friendliness. Someone keeps finding reasons to talk to you, and you think, “People are so nice today.”

Meanwhile, your family is watching a whole romance unfold beside the shopping cart. 😂

You do not have to turn every friendly encounter into a romantic possibility. But you can give yourself room to notice when someone seems interested—and ask a question instead of immediately dismissing the idea.

If you are the person showing interest, clear words can help. “I would like to get to know you” gives someone much more to respond to than a hint they may never catch.

Make Room in the Life You Already Enjoy

Single life comes with routines you grow comfortable with. You make your own plans, decide how to spend your time, and move through the day without coordinating with a partner.

After years of that, even a welcome relationship brings adjustments. Phone calls take time. Dates need space on the calendar. Another person begins asking about your day and sharing theirs with you.

Consider where someone could fit into your actual life. Could you set aside an evening for a date? Make time for a phone call? Put down your work long enough to enjoy a conversation?

You can appreciate the life you have built while making room to share parts of it. Start with time and attention, then let closeness develop as you get to know each other.

Let Me Explain What “Give Me a Minute” Means

Someone cannot always tell the difference between your uncertainty, your adjustment, and your lack of interest. If you like them, let them know.

You might say, “I enjoy talking to you. I’ve been single for a long time, so I’m getting used to dating again.”

That simple explanation can prevent a lot of confusion. It lets the other person know there is interest, even if you are still finding your footing.

Give yourself time to become comfortable, but pay attention to how you communicate along the way. If you need a slower pace, explain what that looks like. If you want to see them again, say so. If you are unsure, be honest about that, too.

“Give me a minute” is easier to understand when you give someone more than silence to work with.

Look for Interest You Can Understand

Clear interest becomes easier to recognize when words and actions agree. Someone says they want to see you, then makes a plan. They ask questions and listen to your answers. They follow through and give you opportunities to know them, too.

As you spend time together, notice how you feel about the connection. Can you speak honestly? Do you enjoy their company? Can you ask a question without feeling embarrassed for needing clarity?

You should also be able to express your pace and boundaries. A person can pursue you with confidence while respecting your decisions. If they keep arguing with your boundaries or making you feel guilty for needing time, pay attention.

Your faith, values, and expectations deserve a place in the conversation. Getting to know someone includes finding out whether the relationship you each want could work together.

Let Your Interest Show, Too

Being pursued can feel good, especially after a long season of being single. Still, a connection needs effort from both people.

Return the call. Ask about their day. Suggest a time to meet. Reach out first sometimes. Let them experience your interest instead of having to search for evidence of it.

You cannot keep saying, “I’ve been single a long time,” while leaving someone to carry every conversation. Eventually, you have to pick up the phone.

Small efforts matter. Remembering something they told you, making time to talk, or saying, “I enjoyed seeing you,” can help a connection grow.

You are both learning each other. Offer the same attention and consideration you hope to receive.

What Would You Check?

If someone handed you that folded note today, what would your answer be?

Maybe it would be yes. Maybe you would want to get to know them better before deciding. You are allowed to answer honestly and take dating one step at a time.

If you are ready, let your actions make room for that possibility. Notice the conversation. Ask for clarity. Show interest when you feel it. Give yourself permission to enjoy getting to know someone without expecting yourself to have everything figured out immediately.

As for me, I learned that I might need to look up from the grocery list once in a while.

And if he hands me that note, I just might check:

“Yes, but give me a minute. I’ve been single a long time.”

Then I will have a question of my own:

“Now, what was that you said you know how to cook?” 😂