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On March 10, 2026, at 8:00 PM, we had the honor of sitting down with Evette G. Pendergrass RN, for a conversation that was not easy, but it was necessary. A daughter, grandchild, sister, friend, companion, confidante, and a life well lived.
This wasn’t just about loss.
This was about what happens after the prayers… after the fight… after the moment you realize your child is not coming back home.
Before Grief Ever Had a Name
Before the diagnosis, before the hospital rooms, before the silence, there was Jasmine Pendergrass.
A daughter who:
- Knew who she was
- Didn’t follow the crowd
- Questioned everything, especially the Word
- Loved deeply, laughed freely, and lived fully
She was creative, strong-minded, and authentic in a way that many people spend their entire lives trying to become.
But grief doesn’t start when someone passes.
Sometimes, it starts the moment you realize something is wrong.
When a Mother Knows
It began with something small—a lesion.
But for a mother, especially one with medical knowledge, it wasn’t small.
She knew.
Even before the doctors confirmed it… she knew.
And from that moment on, everything shifted.
Life became:
- Appointments
- Treatments
- Decisions no parent should have to make
But even in that, she held onto hope.
Because what else do you do when it’s your child?
The Fight… and the Weight of It
Jasmine went through chemotherapy, radiation, and multiple rounds of treatment.
Her body was fighting.
Her family was fighting.
But what people don’t always see is what a mother carries during that time.
Not just support.
Not just strength.
But pressure.
- Did I make the right decision?
- Should we have tried something else?
- Could I have done more?
Those questions don’t wait until after loss.
They start during the fight.
And they don’t leave easily.
When Faith Doesn’t Look Like Survival
Jasmine’s faith never wavered.
She believed in JESUS.
She trusted Him fully.
But her understanding of healing was deeper than most.
She knew:
Healing doesn’t always mean staying.
She made peace with something that her mother—and everyone around her—was still praying against.
And that creates a different kind of grief.
Because now you’re not just losing your child…
You’re trying to understand God’s will at the same time.
The Moment Everything Changed
When Jasmine took her last breath, her mother didn’t fall apart the way people might expect.
She didn’t scream.
She didn’t collapse.
She shifted.
Straight into nurse mode.
She did what she knew how to do:
- Prepared her daughter
- Made the necessary calls
- Handled what needed to be handled
Because sometimes grief doesn’t hit immediately.
Sometimes your body protects you from it.
When Grief Finally Hits
It wasn’t at the moment of death.
It wasn’t even at the funeral.
It came later.
In a quiet moment… watching the funeral playback.
That’s when it became real.
That’s when the weight settled in.
That’s when she realized:
“I will never hear my child’s voice again.”
And from there, everything changed.
The Year of Silence
After the funeral, she didn’t just grieve.
She disappeared.
She went to her daughter’s home and stayed there for a year.
No TV.
No music.
No normal routine.
Just silence.
And in that silence:
- She cried
- She screamed
- She wrestled with God
- She tried to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense
She wasn’t trying to hurt herself.
But in her own words:
“In my mind, I was gone.”
That’s the part people don’t always talk about.
Grief can take you to places mentally and emotionally that you never thought you would go.
The Anger Toward God
She was honest about something many people are afraid to say out loud.
She was angry with God.
Not a little frustrated.
Not slightly confused.
She was angry.
Because in her mind:
- Jasmine did everything right
- She had faith
- She trusted God fully
So the question became:
“Why did you take her anyway?”
She didn’t hide it.
She didn’t pretend to be okay.
She told God exactly how she felt.
And for a season, she couldn’t pray.
She couldn’t listen to worship.
She couldn’t even open the Word.
That’s real grief.
When You Can’t Pray for Yourself
What carried her through wasn’t her own strength.
It was people.
Friends who:
- Prayed when she couldn’t
- Called at the right moments
- Refused to leave her in that place
Every time she felt like she was slipping too far, someone reached out.
And she realized later:
God never left.
Even when she felt like she had left Him.
The New Normal
Grief didn’t end.
It changed.
She had to learn how to live with:
- A phone that no longer rings 27 times a day
- Silence where laughter used to be
- Moments she can’t share with her daughter anymore
And those are the things that hit the hardest.
Not just the big moments.
But the everyday ones.
What Grief Really Looks Like
Grief is:
- Walking into places you used to go together
- Hearing something and wanting to call them
- Smelling something that reminds you of them
- Feeling okay one moment… and broken the next
It doesn’t follow a schedule.
It doesn’t ask permission.
And it doesn’t leave.
What She Learned Through It All
If there is one thing she made clear, it’s this:
- You don’t “get over” losing a child
- You learn how to live with it
- You give yourself grace along the way
And one of the most powerful truths she shared:
“We grieve so hard because we love so hard.”
Free Resources to start your healing Journey.
Journal Prompts for Processing Grief
- What does grief look like for me right now?
- Am I allowing myself to feel, or am I trying to rush healing?
- What emotions have I been afraid to admit—even to God?
- Where do I need to give myself more grace?
- Who are the people God has placed around me for support?
Scripture & Truth
- “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.” — Psalm 34:18
- God is still present—even in silence
- You are allowed to feel, question, and process
- Healing is a journey, not a moment
Watch the Full Conversation
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If this touched you, you are not alone.
Share in the comments:
- What part stayed with you
- What you’re currently walking through
- Or simply leave a word of encouragement for someone else
This is a safe space.
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